Continuing my examination of service entertainment in Italy over Christmas 1944, this post looks at the ‘Erks’ of RAF Staging Post 63, located on Sardinia at Elmas. Compared to Major Plaistowe’s Army Welfare Service, The Babes in the Wood (see Part 1), the RAF’s version of Cinderella is what you’d expect from the Brylcreem Boys; tastefully written, a little less vulgar, and some clever clogs has heard of iambic pentameter! But a closer reading of these troop-written pantos reveals some unexpected differences between the two services.
I stumbled across the script for The Babes in the Wood in the Army Welfare Service War Diary for December 1944 in the National Archive. By contrast, we can enjoy the script of Cinderella (or Cindereric as they named it) in the post’s newsletter, Dim View, found in the Operational Record Book (ORB) for Staging Post 63.[1] Preparations for the Oppo’s panto began early; the Sports and Entertainments Officer, F/Lt J. Moore, appointed in October, writes:
Since our last issue, quite a deal has taken place in the welfare sphere. The main feature was the Oppo’s concert party giving their first show. The general opinion was ‘good show’. It was arranged very quickly and praise must be given to all the artists under the able direction of Cpl. Ripley… The Oppo’s concert party is now rehearsing for a Xmas pantomime; the initial support was good and they are busy building props and rehearsing.
Being located on Sardinia, the RAF Staging Post would not have enjoyed as many professional concerts provided by the likes of ENSA as those on the mainland, so they had to make their own entertainment.
Figure: Armourers, Leading Aircraftman R E Atkins of Ealing, London, (left) and Corporal F Wheeler of Orpington, Kent, arm a Bristol Beaufighter TF Mark X of No. 328 Wing RAF with 3-inch rocket projectiles at Alghero, Sardinia. (Source IWM)
One of the panto’s script writers, H.Chriss, obviously had some theatrical experience, and had written and produced the Staging Post’s first concert party in November 1944, called One Damn Thing After Another. Reflecting on this show afterwards, he writes:
Well, the show got off to a good start, and except for a few awkward moments when Shep forgot his lines, the items were well received with plenty of spontaneous laughter. Thus encouraged, the artists really got into their stride and things went with a swing right through to the end.
These amateur dramatic performances not only lifted the spirits of the audience they entertained, but also benefited the cast and crew who worked closely together to build the scenery, rehearse, play the music, and perform on stage.
Figure: While the wine is being attended to, another Christmas fatigue is at work in a nearby room fitting up a stage for the Regimental Pantomime “Cinderella”. (source: https://www.iwm.org.uk/collections/item/object/205535122)
On 10 October 1944 the ORB hints at the inspiration for at least one character in the Christmas panto, if not the whole script:
Two representatives from Y.M.C.A. Bastia – Mr Clark and Miss Mudd – arrived to discuss arrangements for setting up a canteen at the airfield. In view of the absence of canteen facilities for British troops in Cagliari their offer to establish themselves here was welcomed and a building chosen which could suitably house them.
Miss Mudd obviously made an impression on the airmen, as the character “Miss Emm” appears in the panto as the Princess who works in the YMCA canteen. Gender reversal abounds, as expected, with the RAF Cinders as the lowly Duty Cook Erk. The panto opens with the ugly step-brothers (boo-hiss) cooking up something delightful and promising to teach young Cinders their cook-house recipes:
“…We’ll tell
You those ingredients that we put inside
To make it taste just like insecticide.”
Figure: Page 1 of the script for Cindereric (Source TNA AIR 29/459 : Staging Posts).
The entertainment officer plays the Baron, who is organising a ball for the Staging Post. Inevitably, Cinder's hopes of attending the ball to meet the YMCA canteen Princess are dashed by his ugly step-brothers. He is forced to peel dehydrated potatoes in the cookhouse all evening instead.
But never fear, the Fairy Freight Sergeant is here, “with his wand, made of rolled-up manifests, in one hand, and a pad of 295s in the other.” I assume the Sergeant would have been a burly bloke dressed up in a frilly dress with wings to add to the appeal when he finds the downcast Cinders:
“Indeed to goodness, well I never! What is it we have here?
Oh, Men of Harlech, did you ever! A cook what sheds a tear!”
Kitting poor Cinders in a smart blue uniform and polished shoes, the Fairy Sergeant gives him a pass that expires at midnight. At the glittering ball, Cinders gets his wish to meet the Princess; however, being a lowly erk, she’s a lot taller than him:
Cindereric: I only wish you weren’t so tall - with me just five foot two.
Princess: It matters not my handsome Erk when we are sitting down.”
The Princess falls for Cinders and offers him anything he wants from her YMCA canteen:
If you promise to be always true, you will never have to queue,
I will lay a table just for two - just for me and you.
As the clock strikes twelve, Cinders has to run back to the cookhouse but leaves one of his immaculately shined shoes at the ball.
The next day two erks are discussing the ball, implying that they got lucky at the expense of some American servicemen:
I’m all in favour of lend-lease when it applies to girls.
Did you see me with that dark-eyed piece with the lovely head of curls?
Meanwhile, the Princess helped by the Baron is looking for the dainty foot that fits the size 12 shoe left behind:
That doesn’t mean a thing to me, that’s just the joke of it.
She’ll never find the guy she seeks though she may try us all,
There’s but two sizes in the RAF - too large or else too small.
As expected, after much mirth caused by the ugly step-brothers trying on the shoe, Cinders is found and lives happily ever after with the Princess. The fairy tale ending involves combining the RAF and YMCA canteen services for the benefit of all the men at the Staging Post:
They will run a grand canteen, where soya links are never seen,
Can’t you see how happy they will be!
The RAF’s performance is quite a contrast to The Babes in the Wood script of 59 Area Army Welfare Service! It is possible to read too much into an analysis of these two isolated pantos, but the differences are fascinating. Apart from the fact that the Brylcreem Boys used iambic pentameter throughout much of their script, and that the plot is arguably funnier, the focus of the RAF panto is on improving conditions at the station. By contrast, the Army’s panto is focused on leaving Italy as quickly as possible and getting home. The Army panto was performed by all ranks, from Major to Private, whilst the script of Cinderella does not mention the rank of the airmen, but the names of the cast do not match any of the flight officers. It is significant, however, that the butt of the RAF panto was the lowly “Erk” who dreams of going to the Baron’s ball. In contrast, the Army panto focuses on the Other Ranks (or Yokels) getting their own back on a senior officer playing the villain. You draw your own conclusions about what this reveals about the culture of the Army vs RAF.
Right, that’s yer lot! Wishing all my readers a peaceful Christmas, and there will be more Historical Ephemera in the new year.
[1] ‘AIR 29/459 : Staging Posts.’, TNA [The National Archives], n.d., fol. 4.